After the Feasts and Fireworks

It’s the first evening of the year. Everything seems to be “quieter” now – from our neighborhood to my schedule. And reality is setting in. Now I feel that my feet and back are aching. Perhaps, it’s from all the holiday shopping and attending parties here and there. And I begin to wonder about 2019. I’d be a hypocrite to say that I don’t have a sliver of anxiety as the year starts. That I’m simply happy and excited about 2019. I’m not. My husband and I have a big loan we need to pay soon. The questions my daughter’s asking will become more and more difficult to answer. More of my family and old friends might be relocating. We’ll all be turning a year older. And so on. I can let anxiety eat me up about every single thing in my life until I’m left with nothing. But I can also choose to live my life – to see challenges as opportunities for me to pray harder and push further to become a better person. I want to stay with this choice. And now I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t. I believe that we can’t control everything in life, but we’re never given anything we can’t handle. And I’ve always wished to grow old gracefully, especially in heart, mind, and spirit. I think welcoming what I have ahead, no matter how uncertain it is, strengthens my faith about the use of our talents. It also fulfills my wish about maturity. My final thought this evening: I hope and pray that this year I’ll focus less on the things I don’t have any hold of. Instead, I want to put my efforts on using whatever I have so I can do what I need to accomplish for myself, my family, and the people around me. What about you? Any thought that’s kept you up on the first night of the year? Care to share your wish or plan for 2020?

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