Note from Glen
: Today’s post is by Bud Hennekes. Bud is going to be featured here at PluginID a lot more soon so I hope you enjoy his work as much as I do. What’s your attitude towards struggle? Do you look at it as your adversary? Or do you embrace it as an opportunity of growth? Do you repeatedly claim your “life is over”? Or do you rise up to the occasion and out last the temporary illusion? Is your relationship with struggle dysfunctional? What can steps can you take to heal those broken wounds? Break ups, death, illness and failure. What does all that mean to you? For much of my life my attitude toward hardship left me feeling empty. I constantly had thoughts along the lines of:
- “One day my life will be perfect”
- “If I struggle I’m weak”
- “If I fail I’m not worthy”
- “I have to be happy all the time “
Perhaps you’ve once resonated with some of them. As a result of these inaccurate beliefs, I was in a constant state of neediness, which as we all know is never a good place to be. It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I was finally able to see the top.
An Unexpected Death
When I was just 16 years old, I witnessed my best friend die in a jet accident. Without a doubt this was one of the lowest points my relatively young life. I vividly recall watching my friend take his last few breathes, his blood dripping on the gold sand below. Losing someone you love is never easy. Dealing with death for the first time had a tremendous affect on me. On the outside I was able to hold it together, but on the inside I was lost. For months I retreated inward searching for answers that I had no clue where to find, and for months I was miserable. I remember thinking at the time, “ Will this pain ever go away?” Two years later, the memories of his death still play in my mind, but the pain is no longer as intense. While that day remains one of the lowest points of my life, it was his death and my immense exposure to struggle that pushed me to explore my talent for writing. It was my friend’s death that jolted me into finally starting a blog and sharing my experiences with the world. It was my friend’s death that pushed me accept full responsibility for my life and live as the person I knew I could be. When you find yourself at a point where you’re feeling down take a moment to remind yourself of the larger picture. Embedded in every moment of pain is a lesson waiting to be revealed if and only if you take the time to listen.
Resistance Breeds Unhappiness
Here’s something not many other personal development blogs will not tell you: Struggle is a part of life. It’s inevitable.
It doesn’t matter if you think you have everything figured out. It doesn’t matter how many books you’ve read on happiness. There will be times when life just isn’t going right. But here’s the thing: Struggle isn’t bad, what’s bad is your resistance to it. Once you accept that you won’t always be at your best, and that you won’t always feel at the top of the world; Once you accept that you will lose people close to you, and that you will come up short, only then can you begin to appreciate all that you have. Don’t give your struggles more power than they deserve but rather accept that they are a part of human existence. Once you begin the process of acceptance your life will almost magically transform. Accepting struggle doesn’t mean you should feel sorry for yourself 24/7. There’s a difference between accepting struggle and creating it. You accept struggle by allowing yourself to feel. You create struggle by feeding your mind with negative thoughts. The key isn’t to attract struggle but rather stop resisting it. As you stop resisting the struggle loses power and begins to fade away. Resistance is the cause of your unhappiness.
Light At The End of The Tunnel
It’s easy for us to look at our daily struggles as the end of the world. It’s easy to get caught up in all that’s going wrong. But when you do so you close your eyes to what lies before you. When you get caught up in your own misery you lose sight of the bigger picture. The truth is that 10 years from now what’s worrying you today will be long forgotten. What you think you can never overcome you will. Always remember you’re stronger than you think. Stop viewing struggle as an enemy but rather embrace it as the an enlightened teacher it is. The sooner you can accept that struggling is a part of life, the sooner you can you appreciate the abundance and beauty that constantly surrounds you. I look forward to sharing my insights on life and continuing to grow with you, my readers. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel.