How Strong is Your Sense of Entitlement?

What do you deserve? Why are some people able to live in mansions while others live in poverty and die of starvation? What is it that you are entitled to? On a surface level you could say we all deserve the same thing, plants and animals alike because nobody is better than the other. This may be true, but.. …do we all feel we are entitled to the same things. If there is a 36 year old, unhealthy computer geek who lives with his parents, does he deserve to date a supermodel? If you answered no, why not? Or more importantly, does HE FEEL that he is entitled to date a super model? Probably not.

What We Deserve

The discussion of entitlement is a difficult one, and one that I’ve actually been hesitant to bring up. There are so many arguments about whether people deserve their current life situation such as poor vs rich and orphan vs happy family. Some people are born into their current situation and can’t do anything about it, did they deserve it? Do they deserve better? Before I delve into that, let’s look at some basic human rights:
  • The right to life
  • The right to freedom & expression
  • The right to work
  • The right to education
  • The right to food, etc.
These are all things that have been set aside as a basic requirement for every human on the planet to have. What I want to cover in this post is more along the lines of what we believe we deserve, rather than looking at the life situations of others and seeing whether it is fair. I have some simple thoughts on that topic though: I don’t believe that people have an unfortunate life situation because of something they did in a past life or anything like that. I think people are just born into the situations they are in and must make the best of them. Is it really as bad as we think for a child in Africa who has food and shelter but of basic means. Do they think there lives are terrible because they have to work 14 hour days? If you don’t know any different, how bad are things? Someone could think the same about us in the western world who struggle through with our 9-5′s. I’m not saying I’m not fortunate and nor do children in Africa suffer. I’m just saying you don’t miss what you don’t have and maybe things aren’t as polarised in terms of life situation on earth as we think. If you are no longer confined to the ego, do you even need any of the luxuries we view as our luxuries besides what we need to survive? Think about that. It’s clear that as humans we have laid out rights as to how we want others to live and what is acceptable for all humans to have. As we are clear on what we believe others deserve, I want to take a look at what we believe we deserve.

Your Sense of Entitlement

I believe that a persons sense of entitlement (what they deserve / think they should have) is often closely linked to their self esteem. If you value yourself then you are more likely to believe that you deserve more, where-as if you don’t think much of yourself then you aren’t going to see how others can either. When I talk about the things we feel we are / aren’t entitled too I mean things such as:
  • A high paying job
  • A happy family
  • A good relationship with an attractive partner
Want to know what I think you deserve? The same as everyone else. I fully think everyone deserves the right to an education, food, freedom of speech and more, but I also think that nobody should be excluded from having the same opportunities or ‘chances’ that other people have. In reality, if you are reading this I will assume that you’ve been given a very good opportunity in life, a lot more than others. The issue is, most of us don’t believe it. I’m young, find concentration difficult and don’t have enough A-Levels to get into university, does that mean I should forever think I don’t have a chance at a high paying job? Does the college nerd who plays video games all day have to think the best he can get is the first lonely girl who will take him? Definitely not. You are enough.
  • You are enough for the attractive partner
  • You are enough to live a happy life
  • You are enough to be a part of a happy family
  • You are enough for the high paying job
Don’t base your sense of entitlement around your self-esteem. Why? Because your self-esteem has probably been highly affected by society. If you fit into the norms of what society thinks is good looking then you are much more likely to believe you can have an attractive girlfriend. If you fit into the norms and have the certificates for what society deems an intelligent individual then you believe you can have a high paying job. Your beliefs often come into effect, thoughts become reality. “Some people are just lucky” “Good things don’t happen to people like me” “Families like ours don’t get the opportunities that others have” Are you going to let beliefs like these stop you from living your life and creating your own reality. Or are you going to realise that we are all cut from the same cloth and you deserve no more or less than anybody or thing on this planet. On the other side of the scale, if you think you deserve more than others then you definitely aren’t plugged in. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t work for things or try to achieve anything, just don’t believe that achieving the results is meant for somebody else. Having a poor sense of entitlement is going to lead you down the path to unhappiness, reacting and even make relationships difficult. It means you constantly view people through the eyes of society and give them a level of value, even a level of value in what you think they deserve out of life. In actual fact I think the best mindset is not to judge anyone but certainly don’t think you are better or worse than others. As soon as you realise you are enough (on the same level) and you go for the things you want (legally) then you’ll start to see doors open and opportunities arise. Trust me when I say it isn’t coincidental.

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